Dear Luke, Olivia, and Ella (Lukey, Liviegirl, and Sissy),
I don’t know why God chose to have me become your nanny, but I know that the 253 days I spent with you changed my life.

When I first stepped into the role of being your nanny, I had no idea what I was doing. I came in with my lists, lesson plans, schedules, controlled activities, menus and kid friendly music playlists. I so badly wanted to do the right thing and create a “perfect” environment. You guys helped me see that, although those things weren’t “bad”, my expectations and ideals were selfish. Every time I had to cancel a play date due to sickness, or reschedule something on our daily list of activities, or clean up another art project gone wrong… God was using the three of you to teach me that I am not in control and that ultimately, I need God’s grace and mercy daily.

Strong, sweet Luke Samuel… what a privilege it has been to be your nanny twice. I doubt you’ll remember when I first watched you once a week for a few months when you were 8 months old. But you might remember when I started nannying you the second time. You really weren’t a fan of having me come back into your life… I thought it was because we were both firstborns and strong willed… but I soon realized it was because your life was out of control and you were trying to control anything and anyone. Gaining your respect and even your sweet little friendship has been such an honor. Watching you learn to trust, laugh, and play has opened my eyes. You have such a tender conscience and a desire to do what is right. You are passionate about learning and desperate to please everyone around you. Oh that your heart would grow in affection for Jesus. I understand the temptation to want to please people… but I pray you will grow up to see that only Jesus can truly satisfy you. Perfection is such a hard thing to chase in yourself but such a joy to find in Christ! You will always hold a special place in my heart Luke.

Precious LivLiv, how I wonder what goes on inside your beautiful curly-haired head and what thoughts lie behind your gorgeous dark eyes. You’re a daddy’s girl through and through and for most of my time with you I thought you really disliked me. You used to cry every single day when I came in the door. (Probably because you knew I was going to tell you to turn off the iPad ;). But over the past few months, you’ve started to open up and greet me with a hello and sometimes even a hug! Playing hair salon with you has been one of my favorite things. You take your time to brush my hair and choose just the right number of bows and headbands before you start working. I love chatting with you as you create your masterpieces on my head. I’d do any goofy thing to make you laugh because your laugh and your smile are so radiant. God has used you to show me His love for His children in so many ways. Sometimes when I am talking to you, I hear His voice saying the same things to me. I understand your anger, frustration, and desire for things to be “right” or “fair” and yet, God is teaching you and me that there are lots of opportunities to communicate and express ourselves in better ways. I know you have a lot going through your darling head. I wish I could help you outwardly process it all but I honestly have a hard time with verbal processing too. I pray God shows you that your heart can rest in Him. I pray you find the peace that passes all understanding and that it guards your heart and mind for all of your days. I am so thankful for our Heavenly Father’s love and I hope you see more and more of how beautiful it is to be a daughter of the King of Kings. Every time God shows me His Fatherly love, I will think of you sweet Liv and pray He shows you too.

Little sissy girl… you were just a baby when I got here. I was shocked by how quickly you accepted me and how easy going and happy you were. You’ve grown in leaps and bounds over the past year and a half, but when you say “Emmy, hold me?” I still see your sweet baby self. Watching you learn to walk, talk and become an independent human has been such a vast honor. You are such a brave and smart little girl. I pray you grow up to be equally kind and gentle. I love that you always ask me to sing “Lord, I Need You” just like Livie does. I love that you call me “Mine Emmy”. I pray that you will understand how much you need Jesus to be your Lord and that you will confess your sin to Him and submit to His righteousness for your whole life. Thank you for loving me despite my many mistakes and for teaching me to prioritize cuddles, books, and Trolls dance parties… since the housework will always be there. You can hold your own with the big kids, but sometimes you still just want to be rocked. It is humbling to be the one that got to rock you for so many months. I don’t know if you’ll remember me as your nanny, but I will always cherish the time spent with you.

The days were sometimes long, but the months sure flew by. Each and every day with you kids was a gift and a training ground that God was using to open my heart and my eyes. I thought I was going to end up being a long term babysitter or short term teacher. Instead, God made me a full time student. Thank you for everything <3

I love you all,
Miss Emily/ aka Emmy