Read part one here or part two here…
In January, we attended the CROSS conference and were awakened to concepts and ideas that changed our framework of thinking even more. The theme of the conference was, “Consider your whole life.” They pressed the issue over and over that we only have one life and that we don’t have to wait for this glorious “ah-ha” moment before we obey God. We are called to be obedient in little steps every day. I began to see more and more than my desire to control my life, my husband, my home, my relationships, my future family… all of it was an idol. I wanted to make a perfect life here and now. Unfortunately, that often meant that I was not trusting God and instead I was simply trying to avoid painful situations. As God continued to allow brokenness into my life, he was continuing to show me that my desire for control will never be satisfied. If I do gain control, I then become anxious about losing that control… which leads me to try to control even more.
All this time, I had still been nannying the Hamlin kids. As we began to process more and more of what it would look like to become foster parents, I was blown away by how God had been using these kids to open my heart and prepare me in so many little ways for this next step! Instead of this vague, super overwhelming vision of fostering, I started to see little glimpses of what it would look like to care daily for kids (the fun, the sad, the exciting, and the mundane).
On February 26th, we attended orientation at an agency in Lansing. We debated whether or not to use an agency or get licensed directly through the state, but after meeting the licensing worker and team from Samaritas, Xavier felt very good about moving forward with them as our agency and I quickly came around. We told our licensing worker that we wanted to move as quickly as possible so that we could try to get as much done as possible before Xavier’s internship began and she has been helping us get our paperwork submitted so speedily and our training done promptly. She has been a huge blessing!
Over the past 6 weeks, we’ve attended the mandatory training, moved everything out of our basement, set up our nursery, had multiple home visits and inspections, baby-proofed our house, and submitted bills, fingerprints, and social and medical history forms. As far as we know, our license is being reviewed by the state which could mean we get officially licensed any day!
It has been an intense month and a half and we are both a little bit shocked at the process so far and how quickly it actually has gone. We had heard many horror stories about how long and invasive the licensing process was, but we were ready for it to be super difficult and painful and it truly wasn’t bad at all! Just seeing how everything has been falling into place is making it feel more real and more intimidating and exciting all at once.
The hard thing now is the waiting. We are so close to our license but so far from placements. We really want to start this journey with a clear focus on the kids and each other so we have decided to wait to receive placements until we can do it fully together. After Xavier’s internship is over and he settles into writing his dissertation this fall/winter, we are planning to open our license.
Our license will be for a sibling group of 2-3 children in the 0-5 age range (although if we get a placement for 3 kiddos, we will need a bigger car). We are open to adoption down the road, but as we have been increasingly more aware of, the main goal of foster care will be to reunite the kids with their biological families if at all possible, and we want to aid in that goal to the best of our ability.
As I wrap up this story about how God has lead us here, I want to make one thing clear… foster care is not “us”. It does not fit into our 2 year or 5 year plan. It is not out of the goodness of our hearts or because we are special people who are super prepared for this. It is easy to see foster care through a romanticized lens or through a window of fear and either way think, “it’s not for me”. This is all what God did. If you think I’m not scared, you’re wrong. My flesh is afraid. I’m afraid of failing, messing up, and I’m honestly afraid of never seeing any fruit. But when I look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of my faith, the fears take their place. I know it’s not up to me. It is God’s story and I’m excited to trust Him.
More details about how to be part of our village will be coming soon!