I’ve debated whether or not to share this story for a long time… two years in fact. Mostly I chose not to share it publicly because there was no happy ending and I didn’t want to talk negatively about the photography industry or this individual (also I bemoaned about it so much to my friends I’m sure they are sick of hearing about it). But some circumstances have changed, and now there is a redemption arc and I’ve decided I want to share this story because I want my clients to know that I get where they are coming from when they are planning their sessions. I’ve heard photographers complain about clients asking questions and being unsure about things that we, as photographers, feel “very sure” about. From lighting and location choices to outfits and even booking processes… There are just a lot of things wrapped into a photoshoot that can seem overwhelming. Some photographers return photos instantly, some deliver them weeks or months later, some sell them as part of the package, others sell only prints. It can be overwhelming to try to track down all the information, find a photographer who you like, book, plan outfits and get it actually done in a reasonable time frame. 

I say all of this because I’ve been super spoiled when it comes to family photos and it wasn’t until *my story* that I felt the client pain of planning a session. While we were growing up, my dad took all of our family photos. It was his gift to my mom every Mother’s Day and birthday. So family photos were a natural part of our rhythms and life. It’s also what stirred up a desire to capture families myself. I loved seeing the joy on my mom’s face (I still do) when she looked at photos. Anyway, I’m still spoiled because my sister also married a photographer so now there are even more of us in the family and we get to trade family photos – hopefully forever. 

*My story*

In 2022, we went to Florida with Xav’s brother and his wife. Felix was 6 months old and it was going to be our first big family trip. The Airbnb we stayed at was hosted by a photographer (who I had followed on Instagram for close to a decade) and she had posted online that she would do a free family session for anyone who stayed at their Airbnb for more than a certain number of nights. Since we planned to be in that area and for that time frame, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get family photos taken. I reached out before the trip to verify that the offer was still valid and she said it was! We booked the stay at their Airbnb and started planning. I was super excited and I gathered outfit options for weeks, trying to assess which combo I liked the most. I found a dress at Salvation Army that I was obsessed with and, at six months postpartum, that was a huge deal to me. When we got to Florida, the Airbnb hosts seemed really busy and even though they had mentioned talking about a time to do photos, they never sent any dates or times. I texted, messaged in the Airbnb app and even called the number to leave a message. I was starting to feel a little weird about the lack of response and then, on the second to last day, I heard back. I shook off the weird vibes because I didn’t want to assume anything or feel bad for following up (even though I totally felt so awkward for following up). The plan was to meet at a local beach at sunset the following day. 

We met up and the session went fine. I had loved this woman’s photography and storytelling for YEARS and it was super exciting to not have to think of poses, but to just let her work her magic. HERE’S WHERE I WENT WRONG. After the session, we briefly chatted but I knew we had to clean the Airbnb and rental car, get Felix down for bed, and pack up to leave early the next morning. I knew she had all of my contact info and I assumed she would let me know when the photos were ready. Also, I really didn’t want to be pushy because I had felt soooooo uncomfy about being pushy to get the shoot scheduled in the first place. I might have even said something like just let me know when the photos are ready, but no rush since I know you’re busy.

To this day, I haven’t heard from her. I’ve never seen a single photo she took. I will spare you the details, but I turned over every rock to try to get ahold of her – for months – including (this is so embarrassing) writing a note by hand to mail to her address. I don’t know if she just deleted all the photos, never put in a memory card to begin with, dropped her camera, lost track of time and forgot I existed (though I don’t know how that would be possible because I tried every form of human communication). For two years, I have been so disappointed and hurt by it… and up until this month, it made me sad that I never got to see the sweet photos of our little family at the beach when Felix was so small. It just felt weird that I didn’t even hear what happened. She’s still posting happy pictures and stories of her life like nothing ever happened.

When my parents started planning a trip to Florida for March of this year, my siblings started asking me about photos. I packed my camera and, when my dad booked the Airbnb, I saw that we would be only 40 minutes from that same beach. So, on the last day of our family trip, we drove up to this adorable beach and, not only did I get to take some super special photos of my family, but my dad took some photos of us there too. It feels silly that it meant so much to me, but photos are just truly that special to me. I wore the same dress because it is still the perfect beachy vibe and having my dad take the photos felt so sweet. I’m forever thankful for the way he built into me the love and ability to capture life through a camera. Thinking about it now, I probably wouldn’t have even liked the photos from two years ago as much as I like the couple that my dad got of us this year. Mostly because of how I felt. I’ve always thought that “the way you feel in your photos is how you feel about them” and now I’m SUPER convinced of that! If you feel like an inconvenience to your photographer, then you will feel awkward and weird about the photos later (even if you never ever see them). Picking a photographer that you can be relaxed around is so important. Picking a photographer that is clear about what you can expect from them is also SO IMPORTANT. I didn’t even sign a contract or anything because it was all *online* and ugh, the levels to which I have regretted that experience is intense. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, get clarity on details or schedule a phone call with your photographer!

I wanted to share these family photos with the story behind it to let you know, as my clients, I get it. On one level, it’s a pitiful situation to ruminate on, it’s just pictures and I obviously have no lack of pictures in other areas of life. But on another level, each day is special and unique and some days you only get to live once. I think every photographer should do their best to value those photos for their clients and at least communicate when something happens to the photos. In many ways, I’ve set up my client experience over the past few years as a response to how I felt as the client in that situation and how I wished it would have gone.